Emerald Haze Afterword: Farrco

Warning: This post may contain spoilers for Emerald Haze and beyond!

This is an afterword dedicated to Farrco and his journey in Emerald Haze. There are allusions to spoilers, but nothing outright. This afterword is very different from the others, but it was what I needed to write.


Farrco…this could have been many other things, but, because of you, this is of you. So this has to be named for you and this has to be about you—but also about me.

Farrco, part of me feels sorry for what I have done to you. More than a part, maybe a whole, ached as I put you through such trials. But on the outside of it, now that this is done, I know that this is for the better—that you are better for it. You have been forged in fires that only this could have done to you.

Farrco, these fires, these fires were of you. You saw them as such and you acted as such. You went beyond expectation—you went to the edge and beyond it. Reality is irrevocably altered because of you.

Farrco, there is something irrevocably altered about you too. There is more than something—there are many things. Your personality, your experiences, and, perhaps least importantly, how I write you.

Farrco, you are italics like all the rest now. That bold that was reserved for you is in the past now. You are risen and elevated and yet you are neither lesser then nor lesser now.

Farrco, now you have truly claimed yourself after knowing confrontation. This confrontation was not clean. It was jagged, raw, and answers were scarce. Despite that, you chose and you accepted your choice. You chose it alone. But you were not—not truly.


Farrco, when you felt that wrenching pain and anguish of choosing, you did not do so alone for I was with you. Your choices flowed through me and there they were my own too.

Farrco, I chose every part of you and now you choose just the same. And so you chose based on your judgement. And so you must live with your judgement regarding those choices. And so you have.

Farrco, when you accepted your choice, your judgement, I felt the burden just as you did and I accepted it too. Even when you did not want to. Even when I did not want to.

Farrco, that desire, out of sheer self-rejection, to run away from everything you know—I was right there beside you. We came back, though—or maybe we never we really left. And so we are here…

Farrco, we are here together—now and forever. Forever that stretches beyond me. Forever that lasts until our names fade away from knowing and even beyond that. We’ve made this way together—all of us. All of us, whatever choices we make, will be together eternal.


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