There are times when I hit a snag along the line. The internal version, updated every moment, of the world and the events spirals along and maybe goes against what I’ve put forth as canon so far. What I believe is canon conflicts slightly with what is canon in the print. It is never a hard conflict; just like a phrasing stumble that has put me in a bit of a corner.
I get extremely frustrated when this happens. Part of me wants to go back through the already published works and make those tiny spots clearer to what I currently think it should be, but that isn’t a solution–it is a patch up. I don’t work with patches, I work with a continuous narrative. These edges can’t be smoothed out. They need to be worked with to create the entire whole that is the mosaic of my world. Having to work with two ideas, not necessarily mutually exclusive, creates a variety of opportunities for advancement in my own world building and the world itself. I have to flesh out the world to be more than just a few details, to create a whole narrative that encompasses both points and weaves them into one beautiful whole.
It is both aggravating and exceptionally rewarding.
The process itself, the process of making it all work, can be at first infuriating because I am angry at myself for not immediately putting it together perfectly at the time, but then it becomes exciting when I figure the best path to achieving a excellent, full fleshed, addition to the world. It feels like I overcame some great mountain and when I do I realize that what I just did was more important than the scattered notes that caused me problems.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Well, maybe if you include the problems and edges as parts, maybe it all works out to be equal. But the point is: when I resolve this contradiction, the result is a supreme advancement of my world. It would not be nearly as good if I did not have to sit down and think very carefully about each part and then weave it all together. My carelessness inspires care and consideration of greater magnitude.
The world not nearly be as large and great without these contradictions and opportunities for advancement. The story wouldn’t be the story without them. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have these swings.